There was a time when I thought that death acceptance was the opposite of death denial. I also thought that there were two signs of death denial: fear of death and dying, and strong attachments to life and living. My thinking was that if I didn’t have fear and anxiety about death, and I could sever my strong attachments in life, I would live peacefully with the full acceptance of death.
It was five and a half years ago today that I began a ten-week exploration into big questions around death, dying and community reclamation of deathcare.
Ngaio Davis, a licensed funeral director and embalmer for the last 17 years, considers herself more of a deathcare worker and support giver. As the founder of KORU, a micro-funeral business, she offers funeral-related or death-care services in the Vancouver area of British Columbia, Canada.
The ache that permeates my body is not that of being an adult orphan. I still have the blessing of holding a warm hand and sharing a smile with each of my folks. My biological parents, both in their 80s, are here on earth and we live in the same city. I see Mom, with Dad, every Wednesday and I also see Dad every weekend. I also talk to him—many times a day—depending on what’s up.
When people ask Valoria Walker what an end-of-life doula is, she finds it easiest to explain it this way: “A doula is a woman supporting other women labouring and giving birth. An end-of-life doula is at the opposite end. I support aging adults who are near or at the end of life.”
You name it—bereavement counsellor, celebrant, cemeterian, coroner, cremationist, death coach, elder, end-of-life doula, estate-planning professional, funeral director, home-funeral guide, hospice staff, memoir writing guide, musician, organ transplant and body donation educator, palliative care nurse and physician, psychopomp, religious death society volunteer, spiritual leader, transfer driver, virtual event planner—they’re out there wanting to be of service.
We’ve just added a huge new bonus to Willow’s 7 Tools for Making Sense of Life & Death Online Program and we want to make sure you know about it before the sale ends at the end of this month.
Willow’s heart-centred end-of-life planning has a fabulous feedback loop that might surprise you. It’s true that all that matters in the end, matters nowand what’s also true is that and all that matters now, matters in the end.
Whether you have days or decades to live— and who’s to know?—I promise that if you take time to consider what matters to you about the end of your life, you’ll get clarity about who and what matter to you now.
