How Your Past Can Inform Your Present This Father’s Day

As father’s day approaches, naturally, I’m thinking about my dad. It’s been almost 20 years since he died, and in many ways his and my mother’s death (5 months later) planted the seed for the work I do now.  I realize now that exploring the reality of my own mortality not only lights up my own life, but is the greatest gift I could give to those I care for. 

When my dad was dying, it was I who wasn’t comfortable talking about death. And when I began educating myself and contemplating my own mortality, I thought about him often. Oh how I wish I knew then what I know now!

I wish I asked him more about how he wanted to be comforted in his dying days. My siblings and I knew he wanted to die at home—and he did—but I didn’t know if he wanted any of us to be there when he died. He ended up dying while my mother was in the hospital and he was alone with a caregiver. 

To this day, I’m curious about the choices he made about how he was laid to rest (his final wishes). If I knew then what I knew now about green burial, and how rituals can help families mourn and heal together, it may have changed things. 

I also have so many questions about his life story and the story of my ancestors and family traditions. Had I helped him write a Heart Will™, many of those questions may have been answered. And finally, I wish I had the courage to ask about what he was going through. 

Your past informs your present. 

Either consciously or unconsciously, our past informs our present. Your previous experiences with illness, dying, death, grief,  and how someone was cared for after they died—including any planning that was or wasn’t in place—have undoubtedly shaped your personal desires and informed your sense of what’s possible and what’s not.

We all have hopes and fears about what might happen to us and/or the people we leave behind in the time leading up to our death, at the moment of our death, and after we die. 

With minimal investment, Willow Workshops are a way for you to get comfortable with your own mortality, and be present with the people you hold dear in your life, whether they have days or decades left to live.

You can take a look at the Willow workshops delivered over the next two weeks by experienced and skilled Willow EOL Educators™  from 3 different countries. Treat yourself, and maybe a dad in your life, and I promise you the investment will pay off in spades!